Everyone needs to read this now!

Mayim, again you are my absolute babe. You have said things better than I ever could have and there is no explanation needed to what this amazing person has to say:



Getting back into old habits… hopefully

I want to start getting back into some old habits that seem to have dropped off of my radar. I hate that BPD makes me feel like i’ve lost my identity and that i’m constantly creating new ones, so i need to get back into habits of my past which should hopefully help me feel more consistent. Like blogging and ‘planning’ in my diary… i mean we’ll see how long this lasts. But i still want to keep up with my new interests like my new found spirituality and hopefully candle making. Maybe also go back to some jewellery making while i’m there. I’m sick of these identity issues and Planning was actually a super helpful habit. I would also like to start writing more poetry and actually finish the book i started creating. That would be great, but maybe i’m putting too much on myself at once, on a time when i’m really struggling? I can only try and see what happens then not beat myself up if i fail.

How ‘Learned Helplessness’ stops us from achieving our goals…

So, as usual, I’ve started a project and not followed through. I’m talking about beginning to write my blog and getting disheartened almost immediately. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon thing with me. When looking as to why I often blame my low self-esteem, depression and fear of failure, which is partially correct. To look deeper into it I’ll discuss a concept my boyfriend and I talked about recently when reading the book ‘Complex PTSD’ by Pete Walker. This concept is Learned Helplessness

Now i’m gonna get into the learning, something you might hear about in a psychology class but i found it very eye opening.

Back in the day, when ethics surrounding psychological experiments were more lax, Seligman (1974) began to work with dogs and learned behaviours with electric shocks. He found that when the dogs perceived there as being no escape from the situation and efforts to improve the situation have not worked then they give up trying. His idea was that humans with depression or humans that have experienced abuse or ongoing traumas can experience learned helplessness. We give up very easily as soon as we begin finding it difficult.

Looking to see why we behave the way we do is the first step into changing our behaviour and this has definitely helped in that regard, although finding out how to learn a more healthy coping strategy is another problem entirely. I’ll get back to you guys on that one!

Peace out!

MoonWink xoox

learned helpless copy

I hate those Stars

I hate those stupid, little glow in the dark stars,

I used to love them you know,

Knowing we hung each one from the ceiling together,

Placed carefully,

Each spot chosen with care

I would see them and think ‘these stars are just for us,

Our own little Galaxy’,

Now whenever I look up at them I notice the empty side of the bed,

And realise that they shined brighter for me.

Photo 04-03-2016, 03 00 14

What exactly do I post first?

Being not so sure where to begin, I shall just write. I have no idea what this blog is going to consist of, most likely nothing of too much substance or interest to anyone. But hey maybe that’s just my negativity talking here. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, to share the things I’ve learned with others in hopes that it might help them. Whether suggestions on how to improve someone’s life or outlook or something simple such as places I might suggest to visit, even just something I’ve found to be interested in. I guess what I’m trying to say is I would appreciate the thought that a person may take something positive from whatever it is I have to say to the world. So enjoy!

Moon Wink xoxo