Everyone needs to read this now!

Mayim, again you are my absolute babe. You have said things better than I ever could have and there is no explanation needed to what this amazing person has to say:

mayim.JPGtrue

Advertisements

For anyone who has had to “PROVE” their mental illness

When it comes to work, social environments or even officials like your GP, we are always having to show evidence of our mental illness. The problem being, that there is not always physical evidence that comes along with it. Feeling like you constantly have to prove your invisible illness is incredibly invalidating, not only to you, but also to other people who share the same problem. No one has the right to tell you how you feel and only a mental health professional can diagnose you. Not only that, but often diagnoses can be incorrect or different depending on the doctor.

I’ve had people tell me I’m lazy or not trying hard enough, when they have no idea of my struggles. It can lead to making me feel like that IS the case. These words can be incredibly detrimental and harming to someone that is already struggling.

The problem here is often that people are ignorant of how mental illness can manifest, if you are not suffering constantly or if you are not showing symptoms, that people associate with the illness, then you can be seen as faking or attention seeking.

Not only is this stigmatising it can create problems for the  person suffering. It is simply not good enough. We need to take people at their word and help them when they need it. Not question if they’re being genuine.

Below are examples of just having to prove disability on the internet:

12

3

Almost everyone knows that those that struggle with mental health are much more likely to have the ability to create some beautiful art. I, however am not one of them… and, like singing, I do it anyway, because… well… I enjoy it gosh darn it!

Having social anxiety means I can spend a lot of my time at home alone. Which is fine with me because I enjoy my own company, something which I have had to learn with time. But it also means that I’m in the same space A LOT! I like to get creative and mix things about from time to time. One day I decided to paint one of my walls with chalkboard paint and I’ve never looked back. It’s given me the flexibility to let my creative freedoms flow.

Most of my inspirations have come in the forms of quotes and life events and just things that make me, me! So here I present to you all, my very bad, but lovingly made, chalkboard wall!

They say mantras are important, so I have mine by the front door 

#catladygoals now if only I could write in a straight line….

I felt like I needed to share some humour with the world

​​Just FYI, that ‘glow’ is sweat because I just came back from the gym 😂​

What is stigma really?

Ever since I started having mental health issues I seem to struggle with having friends. When it first started I found people getting angry with me that I couldn’t meet up with them or I wasn’t contacting everyone enough, but instead of them asking what was up they stopped putting in any effort. When I dropped out of college and didn’t get to see my friends everyday it really affected me and rarely did I ever hear from anyone or get invited to anything anymore. I guess out of sight out of mind. While everyone else moved on to university and I stayed trying to complete sixth form I felt so alone. I guess starting a new school is hard and moving away makes it difficult to keep in contact but I didn’t have anyone around to keep my spirits up.

When I couldn’t work because of my depression I didn’t have any friends anymore. I clung to every relationship I could find because having someone that’s bad for you is better than having no one right? As humans we need contact and friendship and people around us that cheer us on. I have endless love for the people that have stayed in my life despite the fact that my depression made me isolate myself, and not blaming me for cancelling plans at the last minute, or not being upset at me for not contacting them in a while. So many people didn’t know how to talk to me anymore. Instead of asking what I was going through rumours circulated about what was really going on. People seemed scared to be around me and it became awkward. This is what stigma is. It’s being made to feel like you’re the problem because other people don’t understand or take the time to try and understand. I would have been really grateful if I felt people were trying to include me despite not having me around. Just a meet up, just a coffee, just a text or a phonecall.

Now I’ve learned to explain to people what’s going on with me without being asked. I initiate seeing people and I’m not afraid if people get mad at me anymore, because I know I’m not cancelling my plans on purpose. I have an illness that I’m no longer scared to talk about, and if people can’t deal with it then that’s their problem not mine.

It’s the Small Things

Sometimes it’s the small things you can do that count as self-care and can make huge differences in your day.

I was looking at the news articles that pop up on my TV. As we well know, the kind of news that gets reported tends to be skewed towards the more negative side. So I thought “why not replace that with a slideshow of motivating and inspiring desktop backgrounds?”. Straight away I was on to Pinterest and about 20 minutes later I come away feeling proud and way more positive.

laptop and phone

I’ve tried this out on my phone and computer also and I’m really starting to appreciate how uplifting this has made me feel. Sometimes it was a simple reminder to be mindful and in the moment or encouraging messages.

So just for you guys, I made my own Inspiring images that can spruce up your phone, computer or TV.

Download the Desktop versions here

Download the iPhone versions here

Free Vectors used to create these here:

Continue reading

Excerpt of a book I will never write

They tell you that they can’t be with you anymore because of your depression. The person that is supposed to help you through the hard times has decided they can’t deal with it anymore. Now I understand depression can be really difficult for those around you. It can bring them down too. It’s hard for you to live with it, nevermind someone else, but there’s something about it that just seems so incredibly unfair.

You knew I had depression before I even realised for the first time that I loved you. Why did you wait so long to tell me? Why did you have to wait until I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone?

Depression has taken away so many things in my life. My education, my friends, and a career. But, not only that, it’s taken away love. To realise that someone can’t be with you because of your depression makes it so much harder to bear because it’s not something you’ve chosen; It’s something that has happened to you, and it’s something that is out of your control.

When one person tells you they can’t handle it, you start wondering if anyone could. You start to believe that if you have depression then you aren’t worthy of love. You aren’t good enough.

When you come out of your depression you become so afraid of going back there, not only because it makes you feel awful, but because it so clearly affects everyone around you. You feel like a burden. You become so afraid of getting close to someone in case depression comes back around and they leave you.

You left me at the most difficult time of my life. I was about to be diagnosed with a chronic, lifelong mental illness when I needed someone the most. and the worst part is that I completely understand why.